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Peanut butter and yak meat? :) Countdown to Nepal

Slated to be next on our vacation radar screen...Nepal. It is fair to say, in some respects, we have a small idea of what to expect courtesy of fellow travelers and the Lonely Planet guide to Nepal. We know there will be baby elephants we can feed and bathe. We know there's the tallest mountain in the world to see. We know Tibet is right next door (wishing we had gone to Tibet earlier, before the Chinese started their cruel and systematic decimation of a culture.) During an off-the-cuff conversation the other day, an acquaintance tells me he recently lost 15 pounds without even trying. "Really? What's your secret?". He said, "I just came back from 2 weeks in Nepal. Enjoyed the visit but couldn't eat the food".

Silently, I'm panicking. I've never traveled to a country where I didn't find something yummy to eat. Be it pad thai or fried bananas in Thailand, eggplant rollatini and bistecca florentine in Italy, pho (noodle soup) and spring rolls in Vietnam...it's safe to say I've never gone hungry whilst traveling.

I'm panicking and concerned enough to mention this to Mom who immediately launches an internet search for Nepalese restaurants in New York City. Maybe it would be prudent to try the cuisine before we leave for Nepal. This way we can decide what is more important to pack in our luggage...underwear or provisions such as peanut butter. Hold that thought...

"There is a Nepalese/Tibetan restaurant in Jackson Heights", Mom tells me.

"What's the name?", I ask.

"The Himalayan Yak Restaurant". I don't think we can get a more authentic Nepalese dining experience outside of Nepal than at a restaurant with the words "yak" and "Himalayan" in its name so off we go to check it out.

The restaurant is in Jackson Heights, Queens in a neighborhood informally dubbed "Little India" - lots of Indian buffet restaurants and sari shops yet it also has its fair share of Ecuadorian restaurants if you'd like to get some empanadas to go with your tandoori chicken. We have other eating options but we will not be swayed. We figure we need this prelude to Nepal to plan our packing/provisions accordingly. We need to know how to say, "I don't like spicy food" in their native language.

With menus now in hand...

"Mom, they have yak meat on the menu". We are assured the yak meat is top quality and procured from a farm about 325 miles from NYC. I must admit now, being a city girl, I wouldn't know good yak meat from bad if a yak came up, smacked me in the head and said, "Hey, I'm good". We decide to have yak meat once in Nepal. After all, "When in Nepal, do as the Nepalese do".

"These momos look good. Lets have some of them as an appetizer". (Momos are dumplings with a variety of fillings. They are steamed or fried. We opt for steamed.)

"What is beaten rice?", I ask as I decide we must try this too. It is brown rice wherein each grain is "beaten" flat. I still don't know why anyone would want to engage in this activity but I am maintaining an open-mind and palette here. I am not here to judge. Once the rice is beaten it is mixed with peanuts and fried potatoes and spices.

We order a thamel combination plate, again, in the spirit of trying as much as we can. We also order a soup for Mom which sounds harmless enough; a soup with veggies and well, lets just stop there.

The dumplings arrive in a lovely bamboo basket steamer. 8 of them looking plump and promising. "Here are the sauces for dumplings", our very kind waitress tells us. "This one is a red sauce with chilis, hot pepper oil. It is hot". Mom and I glance at each other and I'm sure she is thinking, "It's okay. There are two other sauces yet".

"This sauce here is a pepper sauce. Very hot. But this one, the green one is mild - avocado, yogurt and spices".

We are thankful, at least, that the avocado sauce is there as an option. We haven't tried it yet but she did say it was mild, right? "Mild" in Nepalese culture must mean "has the potential to blow your tongue out of your mouth".

"Mom, you can't eat that", I say as I gulp down as much water as possible. I am now wondering what exactly went wrong between our "No spicy" conversation with the waitress and how that message didn't make it to the kitchen cook...oh, well, maybe it's just a sauce misunderstanding.

So we eat our momos...dry...with no sauce. Note to self: make sure we buy soy sauce in Bangkok to carry with us to Kathmandu...just in case. Airport security? Yes, I will have some explaining to do.

"Oh, here's the beaten rice". Maybe this rice will save the day. How spicy can it be? Oh, no...staring at me are long, red, menacing, taunting chili peppers poking out through the grains of rice. I am doomed. You know what? I decide to take it to go to let friends try it that are coming over to my house later that evening. Said friends tasted it and politely declined any more.

"I'm sure your soup will be fine", I say to my Mom as it is placed on the table. One spoonful later and now it's time to call over the waitress.

"We're sorry but...." She understands and brings Mom a noodle soup with some broccoli and baby corn and such, swimming in hot water. It's very bland but it's not spicy! I'm starting to think our choices in Nepal may be "no flavor" or "hello, my throat is on fire".

We are gaining some clarity, however. If the menu lists ingredients "with spices" we now know this means: chili peppers. Spices=chili peppers. Period.

"My combination plate looks nice, doesn't it?", tastefully presented on a large copper-hammered platter with smaller plates holding lentils (dal), rice, mustard greens, chicken and mixed vegetables.

Mom eyes the pickle on my plate and gives it a try. "Mom, bad idea. Can't you see it's...."

Too late. She has discovered that the pickle is swimming in chili oil.

I eat the lentils, more rice, the greens with something that looks like half of a crisp taco shell. You know what was wrong with the rest of the meal. I won't say the word "spicy" again. :)

"Excuse me, may we have some more tea?" Tea. That's safe. We like the tea.

"Would you like regular tea or salted?", lovely waitress asks.

"Salted tea?" I know. I've read about it. I don't ask the question out loud but I'm just thinking, "Dear God, we are going to starve and be thirsty as well? What kind of vacation is this going to be?" I'm laughing to myself as these thoughts run through my head. We'll be okay. I'm sure. We are resourceful. There's always yak meat, right?

"May we just have the darjeeling tea? Thank you." Salted tea or buttered tea can wait until Nepal as well. Maybe...

Dessert. We still have dessert to look forward to and oh, how I love desserts. Come on now. We can't go wrong with desserts, can we?

My dessert is a rice pudding which came along with my combo plate. So far I have had a spoonful of beaten rice, some momos, rice with lentils and rice pudding. I may have reached my "rice" maximum for today :). I'll just have some of Mom's dessert. That will be fine.

Just as I'm thinking that Mom's dessert will be the coup de grace of this meal, the waitress rests down a bowl of...pasta? I admit I thought there was a typo in the menu. Surely they did not mean "hand-rolled pasta"? They must mean "pastry". Evidently, what was written is exactly what was meant. It's hand-rolled pasta with barley, sugar and wait for it...grated cheese. I will say this much. It's not spicy!

It is also unlike anything we've ever tasted.

"Lets take this to go as well to share with my friends at my place later, okay?" I am thinking, "Maybe, it's me. Maybe we need a third and fourth opinion. Besides I don't know how to explain this and no one is going to believe me unless I produce evidence". Risking the friendship, I serve this to my friends as well. Thankfully, we are still friends but the dessert went right in the trash.

"Check, please". At least we can now say we have a general idea of what to expect once we arrive in Kathmandu. Maybe we will be pleasantly surprised.

But just to be on the safe side, we will be packing provisions from peanut butter to soy sauce.

After all, who really needs to pack underwear anyway? :)

Comments

  1. Not sure how the weather will be when you get to Nepal; but I can say with certainty, if the climate is very Hot (and spicy), then the extra air conditioning the Underwear On Strike will provide will be refreshing.

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